Professional boundaries are limits and guidelines that define the appropriate behavior and interaction between individuals in a professional relationship. They exist in various types of relationships, including between employers and employees, clients and service providers, and co-workers. These boundaries help to establish expectations, responsibilities, and appropriate behavior in working relationships and are essential for creating a safe and respectful workplace.
Personal boundaries are the guidelines that individuals set for themselves to establish their emotional, physical, and psychological expectations and limits. They determine how we interact with others and how we allow ourselves to be treated. Personal boundaries can vary from person to person and depend on various factors such as cultural norms, upbringing, personality, and experiences. They are essential for maintaining self-value, self-respect, and autonomy.
As Estate Managers, we work in a unique environment that can often blur the lines between professional and personal relationships. It’s critical that we maintain both professional and personal boundaries. You should make your boundaries known at the start. Analyze the stated job description and use it as a template for setting expectations.
We surveyed the Estate Management Network for their thoughts on boundaries and have compiled some practical tips for establishing yours. It’s a good idea to have this discussion with every team member not only to share your expectations but to establish theirs.
Maintain a professional demeanor. This is the most impactful thing you can do; remain professional at all times. Always dress appropriately for the job, be prepared, maintain your composure, and avoid discussing personal matters or engaging in gossip. This will set the tone for every interaction you have with your principal, staff, guests, and vendors. Treat every residence as though it were a corporate HQ.
Define your role and responsibilities. Clarify your job description and responsibilities with your principal and team to ensure that everyone is on the same page. This conversation should include where you are in the org chart; who you are accountable to and who is under your management. It should include what work and outcomes you will be responsible for. The conversation should also include your expected hours, travel and working locations as well as what support is available to you (family office, bookkeeping, legal etc..).
A note on schedule: When you see terms like ‘overriding flexibility’ or ‘24/7 mentality’, you need to clarify what that means. At the interview stage, have a serious conversation about your standard schedule and how many ‘extra’ hours may be included in your salary. Establish that if extra hours are worked there will need to be either financial or time compensation. If your prospective employer is not amenable to fairly compensating you, you can’t work there. We posted an informative article in the pro blog about what a job is worth that’s helpful in this discussion.
Communicate effectively. Establish clear communication channels with your principal and team including preferred methods of communication, hours of availability, and expected response time. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or confusion.
It is also important to establish the tone of communication. Maintain appropriate and respectful communication by avoiding the use of vulgar, discriminatory, or offensive language. Clarify if nicknames or colloquial slang is acceptable among the staff.
Respect privacy. Remember that you are working in someone’s private home, so it’s essential to respect their privacy. In many cases sharing any personal or confidential information about your clients with anyone else, even if it seems harmless, may violate your NDA. Short of that though, it’s just common respect. Don’t listen, don’t share.
Avoid dual relationships. Avoid personal or social relationships outside of work that could lead to conflicts of interest or compromise the professional relationship. Group employee lunch, OK. A co-worker who is on the same management level with you, maybe. Meeting one or two of your staff for drinks after work is probably not a good idea. Avoid giving individual personal gifts or other forms of gratuities that may influence the professional relationship or create a sense of obligation. Be like Oprah – everyone gets a car (or no one does).
This also relates to the social relationship you have with your principal. Many of us have very generous employers who invite us to parties and events. It’s fine to accept those invitations, but you’ll need to treat the experience as a work event. Dress appropriately, behave professionally, and be aware that you are a representative of that employer or company.
Know when to say no. It’s important to know your limits and when to say no to requests that fall outside of your job responsibilities or comfort level. Be polite but firm when declining requests, and offer alternative solutions if possible.
By implementing these tips, you can create a professional working environment while still providing exceptional service to your principal. Remember that establishing boundaries is not a sign of disrespect, but rather a necessary step in maintaining a healthy and productive working relationship.
